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Deadstock Report

@deadstockreport cultural fashion satire

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DSR caught back up with Tyler, shockingly still alive in 2025 and doing surprisingly well for a man whose pairs of tropical wool trousers outnumber his healthy teeth. The new assistant creative director at Chord—a dating app startup targeting p
“They’re just a solid daily wear to me personally, it wasn’t even about the collab. I would’ve bought them if they were a general release tbh” said Ronald, a little too defensively, before texting his parents to ask if h
That’s it, that’s apparently the whole story from our lead editor. Our world is burning and he’s not Fat Joe, so he’ll be sticking with the same pair of forces that got him through 2023 and 2024. Yes, they’re the Utopia
“God, this guy is so old now. I bet he doesn’t even know we’re done calling things ‘cooked’. He made it past 25 though, so I guess his 30’s are going well. But he mentioned ‘saving for retirement’ yeste
BREAKING: The slippery slope from drinking, CNN hosts Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen will now be allowed to bid on Grailed pieces live during the festivities. Will Cooper cop that Balenci? Will Andy finally secure his long-sought-after H&M Margie
TOP O’ THE MORNING [BREAKING]: Hot off the heels of an earthshaking surprise album release, the original Range brother has surprised fans once again but for different reasons. Rumors are swirling that the impulse GNX purchase was a step too far
But not you, dad! Other dads, who actually might have said this. I know you would never.
“It just doesn’t make much sense to do it so close to the end of the year, you know?” shared Tyler Macon. The well-suited, broken-bodied man, now 34 and looking to settle down, finally secured a tailor his fourth year living in Manh
Disagree? Let us know in the comments so we can judge you. Complaints? Send them to info@danielarsham.com
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For better and for worse, in today’s climate playing it safe is going to be your best bet. Nobody gets that as well as the 9-to-5 weekday warrior. You, the cubicle king, likely reading this under the tepid yellow glow of fluorescent tube lights, have resigned—whether you admit it or not—to 5-day slogs of chino-wearing, shirt-buttoning keyboard-clicking monotony. 

But what if we told you your Monday-to-Friday work life doesn’t have to be a living embodiment of the color beige? Read on to see how a few subtle accessories can turn your office beige into office off-white, and have you flexing on Marcus from Accounting without your fit getting flamed by HR. Click for full article

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